How to get your GF / wife back
how to get your gf/bf back
Normally people would ask me, who the heck are you to write this article? YOU are not a relationship guru! well then i would say
i know a lot more about psychology of people then u can ever imagine people! it’s a different thing that i fcuk it up in my own situations bu ti know…
moreever i know one thing it’s hardest to act on one’s self advise.
meaning although i am advising you to do these all things i might now be following them myself coz as i have found out emotions really do fcuk up the mind.. and kill all logic..
but i do assure you one thing, if you follow the step by step guide, you’ll definately have a great chance at getting your love back, even if you don’t it will really ease out the pain and atleast help you move on. so without much delay presenting the
how to get your bf/gf back?
rule number 1: do not contact them until i tell you to
rule number 2: do not forgetrule number 1, if you do, how do u expect me to help you?
for one month do NOT contact her/him. no exceptions, if they happen to work with you, keep it to a minimum friedly chatter, do not bring up the relationship if they happen to contact you. if you have a child with them, do NOT fail responsebility, do your duties like normal you have been doing in happier times, , it’s like be like a maid, do the work but be invisible. get it!
now you might ask why is that? well coz in a relationship it’s always pull and push, ying yang in chinese, which means that either you pull or you push them away.
well in short you show interest they go away, if you don’t show interest they at least stay there if not go away.( emotionally) so if they pull you pull, if they push you push. and you have feeling for them you just can’t stop broadcasting like a beeper, so one month of stay the heck of their way. also in the one month emotional high of a breakup will start to subside, which would mean they woudl be more relaxed, and willing to see it in a different way ( don’t try to define it or make them understand you’ll fcuk it up)
5 things you will NOT do.
1. telling them that you have changed
2. telling them like you lve them over and over again
3. acting depressed so they feel bad for you and they come back
4. try to reason with them
5. use kids, money, or any subtle/indirect threatening or bribe to get them back.
there are the most common tactics which almost never works, but, even if they do work it’s only a matter of time before they fail coz the problem still remains, the problem which broke you in the first place!
we are going to do the same thing that bough them to you in the first place
ATTRACTION
one of the reasons you guys broke up, i am sure there was one of the reasons of loss of attraction in it.
in order to be attractive , u have to be a magnet which attracts, not like a net which tries to catch by being in their way…. hop eu understand..
i am sure u have told her/him that what u did that was wrong, and it was a mistake, then it’s neediness, and neediness goes agains everything that is attractive, neediness is percieved as weak therefore unattractive.
i don’t blame you, love has a way of fcuking things up,
btw, what is love have you found the answer to that: i made up a perfectly fine defination for it: love is a powerfull emotional feeling created by biology so that we can provide for our mate without fail..
and that is the reason why love stays for 18 to 24 months coz that is time that is needed for a female to concieve, give birth and be ready to do work again( no offence intended)
so how to get this feeling out of your mind, simple, change your prespective:
go from "needing" them to "desiring" them, it changes everything try it.
i mean think for a minute, u don’t " need" them back, u desire them in your life. you CAN live without them, you CAN live happily without them. there are over 8 billion people to choose from in this world ( well actually 4 billion rest are of your same sex)
it’s human nature to run after something which we can’t have, just try to think logically for a second do u really love him/her or it it just because you can’t have him that you wnat them.? you most probably would say tha tno i want him/her coz i love her and stuff like that, just ask yourself,
did u still wanted them so much that you wnat them now?
why was it so hard for us to stay together
think
well! back to your task
excersice for 2 hours a day for next 30 days
why? well coz i said so, don’t put your logic in mine, you’ll just ruin everything.
still to the more sarcastic ones:
excersice makes you fit, look attractive,improves self confidence,reduce depression, and all those positive things you hear in advt that make you look better then before.. ok.
hold did you though they might find someone else in that 30 days, then?
well coz most of the time they don’t work out! trust me on this one, and it might actually work out in your favor IF you do it right that is. coz in their mind they will always be comparing you two against each other. the good times. by time all the bad memories will start to fade away and only the good ones stay. and their new relationship will start to stabalise as this : newness: starts to fade.
don’t call to see if they are with someone else. it will only hurt you more….
did you start excercising? i knew u didn’t. wtf, you don’t do waht i tell u to do and u still expect the plan to work?
over next 3 weeks go to 3 dates, that’s right find 3 cool girls or guys , and go out with them! get it. and they have to benew, find somone in a bar or something but not someone u already know.
why? coz i said so, lolz, anyways it’s coz it will increase your confidence, and you are getting out of depression, both are ATTRACTIVE. remember anything i am telling you to do is to make sure you are attractive to them so that you don’t have a problem. you might think that they might think that since u are going on a date , u are no longer interested in them, u are WRONG it’s the old principal of " i want what i can’t have" when they see u going out with other people, they want to be out with you again to see what other’s are seeing in you to go out with, although they know it all, they still want to, this is a powerfull feeling…
now getting with them will be pointless if you would breakup again right.
so fix the number one problem: loss of attraction.
do u know why marriges and relationships fail it’s coz of five main things:
contempt
critisicm
stonewalling
defensiveness
belligerence
and to the contrary of many many people think ANGER usually does NOT cause a breakup, unless u have some really really serious anger management issue.
next get them OFF your mind , stop thinking about them and whatever u do don’t call!!
purpose of whatever we have done so far is to make u attractive to your mate and we do that by making these conditions
plenty of space ( don’t call or contact)
no neediness
psysical attractiveness ( excersice)
increased self confidence
more happiness
and one more thing i wanted to ask you.
what is the difference between a first date and a relationship date
you take a lot of time to get ready, you goout and have some fun, when date ends you wished it was a bit longer.time was valueable and u made most of it, u never fought , and ou didn’t had a history together so no past bad expereinces.. we’ll get him/her in that stage.
it’s a funny thing, if you act like nothing happend people too start to act like nothing happened, adn it happens automatically. i was amazed. try it.
adn right now u must think for yourself tha thow do u wnat to get together WITHOUT showing any interest in gettign back together as this would only make them pull away from you.
get it.
think.
why was there a loss of exitement and attraction between you two, well most would say no it wasen’t the case, but i assure it WAS the case.
even if you didn’t your partner definately did lose some of that attraction.
well what is the solution to that problem?
do fun and arousing activities together
understand? " do anything from a pillowfight to a skydiving."
you won’t beleive how effective that is at keeping a a relationship fun and exiting and keeping it in a honeymoon stage….
so just a question for you to think
why is dating fun?
i mean i know it’s fun but WHY?
let me count a few reasons
1 : mystery:
in a new relationship we tend to fantasise a lot and think about that persons past and stuff liek that, but as we know him/her we tend to lose that mystery factor right.
fix: SHUP up. people enjoy talking about themselves, let them.by letting them do all the talking you let them hav ea great time and be a bit mysterious, don’t be the one to fill in all the details about last month about what u did and stuff like that, whenever they ask , just say maybe and smile! it confuses people, and it makes them thnk and assume a lot of things let them it’s good for us for now, moreever smiling makes people feel good, and it’s a good thing coz smiling =feeling good=you are there that means you=feeling good, and it’s difficult to hate someone you have laughed with.
2 excitement
do funny /exciting things together. and by that i mean anythign which you two do TOGETHER, physically.
as a team , like a pillowfight to skydiving, anything, which makes you two interdependent on fun, get it.
3. time
time is valueable, less time u spend together more valueable it becomes. get it. if u feel that u have to go home from a date u are spending too much time together coz time is no longer as valueable.
4. no history.
when u met someone u didn’t had any history together. no bad experience, or anything just the happy happy feeling for the past right.
fix: don’t bring anything from the past, no question as to why they left you or something, nothing, treat her like you just met her, and she just met you , ok.
5. happiness: be happy, don’t do constant crying over howmiserablel your life is and how bad is it, just be optimistic, it’s liek buddha once said to one of his diciples who wnated to go on the path of preaching, he said they might say abuse you, diciple answere then i’ll be thankfulltht they didn’t beat me, buddha said that some might beat you up, she said at least they left me alive, buggha asked if someone killed you, then his diciple said, that he’ll be thankfull to them that they released him from the world of worldly sins and released him to the god! buddha said u will go far in teaching my teaching…… get it? the power of being positive…
now you call her/him
what , that’s right the time to call your love has come IF you have done everything right…
well waht u ar going to do is call them , don’t do anything, just say how are you and how’s life treating you and general terms, do NOT bring up relationship now , treat them like you have just met and that you know nothing of her past or something, get it.
and as you must be already know ing what makes them laugh or something, just guide conversations to that point, and make them laugh it’s hard to say no to a person who is making them laugh , get it.
and when they are laught, casually say, hey let’s get together for cofee or lunch, donot say it’s for the old times sake, treak them like you don’t have a history. get it.
if tehy say no, just change topic make them laugh like u were talking pretend u didn’t hear it, and move on, never say something o come on we were this and that or something , it’s the last thing you wnat to do. get it.
get off the phone u idiot, don’t be a sticky pad to them remember time is valueable, dont’ put too mcuh or you will be undervalued!
let’s say u do get that date: congrats but no congrats the work i am going to give u is even harder!
just have fun
yes, that’s right, just have some good fun nothing too fancy or too much time, just make it like a first date, but anything too fancy and it will be seen as a pull which will only make them push, ok..
think what u might do at the date: cry that she/he left you,
you wnat to blame them or you ,
convince them that you have changed
or something,
DON"T
by not doing this and just having fun they will be reminded of the good old days, when you were having fun dimbo!
date should be short, about an hour,be happy,let them do all the talking, no relationship talk,end the date sooner,and make sure to end it on a good note, and do NOT start to make plans for another date or somethig, it will be seen as a pull .
if they say it then it’s fine.
not to the bit more negative people , what if they say no!
well don’t react in a bad way then
don’t be like a idiot crying baby, it will only make them despise u a bit more, get it. don’t ask why they are saying no, just pretend u didn’t hear it, finish conversation in a normal way…
what then dont’ contact them, if u do this right, they WILL contact you soon, coz they subconsciously know that u still want to have fun with them, and htey will contact you.
don’t call for another 30 days
if they dont’ call well, forget them , seriously that measn either they are really emotional people who really need to get their life together, they will only make u hurt more than nevcessary get it.
and maybe u fcuked it up to the extreme, i mean what did u do? tried to rape her/break her hand/or something really bad!
now if you are on a date and they start arguing, then
well don’t argue, it will only result in both of you digging into their position which is always a bad thing.
if they say that u didnt gave me enough space, don’t say no i did, say u know u are right i didn’t gave u enough space, and then , well they got nothign more to say , diont’ try to steer conversations that makes them feel that they are the reason fo rbreakup, it will only hurt you more. and one more thing never ever use "but" in a conversation substitute but with and , even if it’s gramatically incorrect, you’ll be amazed at the results..
what if they don’t pick up my call or something
normally people wouls send an sms or e-mail
DON’T
it’s seen as pull which will make the push..
wait 2 weeks before calling again.
do this twich if they dont’ pick up, then FORGET them it’s time to move on , if they despise you so much that they won’t even pick up your number, then don’t push it.
if you are calling and they are confused then?
like u call and they are like i don’t know. then?
well make it a light hearted teasing remember teasing , not insulting, and do this ONLY if they are like i don’t know, and not a flat NO, get it.
liek u call and ask for a coffe and they are like i don’t know make a funny and witty comment, like come on, it’s a coffe not like i asked u to marry me or something
this would make them realise that they are just making this breakup a HUGE issue and act SILLY, noone wants to be seen as acting silly..
after teh date: thank them fo rtheyir company and LEAVE
call after 2 weeks don’t pull too much or you’ll fcuk it up, get it.
after 2-3 months of casual no binding dating like this, you’ll get it. i mean if they want to be together or not, it will be very very powerfull signals which even a psycho like me would understand.
if they feel attracted to you in this time don’t interpret it as them wanting to go back to you, it will only be more problematic in future.
just let it casually flow, you’ll knwo when you wnat to go in relationship.
assume u know it’s time fo ryou to get together, how do u do that?
it’s a specific approach to that.
use this only once and AFTER 3 months of dating at least,
make them laugh really really hard on something, and then say we ARE really together aren’t we,
there iwll be a awkward silence,
don’t speak , just shut up.
if she says yes. say "let’s get back together". then shut up.
don’t say : can we be together again" it will make them decide on it, but if u say it let’s get back together in their subconscoius mind decision is already made, get it!
let them think , most probably now they’ll say yes.
you got your gf/bf back!
but if they say no, well the forget them it’s time to go on, you got other people to date remember 3 dates with different people!!!!
and
getting them is back
keeping them is the hard part
let’s just hope that last 4 months that you have not been together, you have tried to see the reasons why you guys broke up in the first place!
well let’s hope you follow it all well
and happy caring and loving, i wish i could say the same for me!
